Ok, this is a really fucked up situation.
My ex-gf, who I dated a couple years back for about 10 months, and who I just started talking to again recently, just told me the other night that she was drugged and raped while we were going out. She spent spring break a few years ago in Europe, and the guy who ran the youth hostel where she was staying put something in her wine one night when they were having dinner. She actually saw this happen. Her "friend" asked the youth hostel guy what it was, he said something incoherent in a foreign language along the lines of it being something that his sister made, and the two of them were apparently put at ease by this bullshit half-assed explanation. She blacked out, he took her upstairs to put her to bed, and then she wakes up the next day and the sheets are soaking wet. Meanwhile, her "friend" saw this guy take her upstairs, and my ex's rationale for her friend's not doing anything to stop this from happening or to make sure she was ok is that the friend was "fucked up on drugs" at the time. As though that's a good excuse for her friend's fucked up, irresponsible behavior.
This pisses me off on so many levels. I suppose I should be really pissed off and upset that she was raped, and I am, but what pisses me off even more than that is how negligent and irresponsible she is.
When she came back, she gave me crabs. We had been dating for several months, and so we weren't using condoms anymore since she was using a diaphragm (or however that's spelled). I found out I had crabs before her. When I told her, she had the fucking nerve to blame me! When I came to my senses and realized there was no way I could have gotten crabs unless she gave them to me, she admitted that she was at fault. She then lied to me and said she got them from sleeping naked in her bed when she was staying at the youth hostel. I trusted her, and she betrayed that trust.
Her excuse for all of this is that she couldn't admit to herself at the time that she had been raped. She was in denial and didn't want to deal with it. She even stayed another night at the youth hostel after she was raped, which is completely fucking stupid because the asshole guy could have drugged and raped her again.
It upsets me that she was raped, obviously. But honestly, I don't care how traumatizing this was for her. When you put both yourself and someone who trusts you at risk, you fucking deal with the situation. She should've reported this guy to the police and gotten the fuck out of that hostel, not stuck around another night. And then she should have come home and let me know about this before having unprotected sex with me again. We dated for five or six months after this, and I didn't hear a word of it until just the other night.
After we broke up, I got tested for any VD's and all the tests came out negative, but I could have been really fucking screwed here. Not to mention that the youth hostel guy is probably raping other girls because my ex failed to report him to the police when this happened.
I honestly can't believe that someone could be so stupid and self-centered. When something like this happens, you don't just file it away in the back of your mind to deal with months or years in the future. Not when other people are affected by the consequences.