December 30 2005 11:49 AM
Another tag-team production by firebeermidgets and yours truly:
10 Commandments of Ye Filthy Pervert
1.) f thou stays home from ye work or ye school, thou must beat ones cock like it owes thee 10 shillings.
2.) Thou shalt flog thy meat in public restrooms to ye latest issue of Penthouse Forums, which thou hast stolen from Waldenbooks in thine desperation.
3.) Thou shalt forget thy pornographic film in ye VCR and yea, thou shalt remember its location as thy mother tries to put in "The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood", only to discover "The Divine Secrets of the Filthy Slag Brigade Vol. 87" obstructing its path.
4.) Thou shalt go out unto the world with great vigor and ambition, only to discover that lo, thou hath ye crusty load of olde dried unto the crotch of thy pants.
5.) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Jergens.
6.) Thou shalt take the Free Tour of every porn website known to thee, and yea, verily, thou shalt have no intention of ever becoming a member and in thine wrath, thou shalt curse the little stars which obscure the divine nipples of that hot brunette.
7.) Thus sayeth ye masturbator of olde: "thy tube socks can an whilst take thy place of a womans touch, for most of thy teenage years". And it was so.
8.) Thou shalt enter the house of thy friend, and when thou meetest his mother thou shalt envision her topless, and even so, servicing thy mighty rod with great vigor and enthusiasm.
9.) Thou shalt not looketh away from yonder smoking hot bitches, lest ye castrate thy self in shame for being gay.
10.) Thou shalt spanketh thy manhood until thy palms are as steel and thy shaft hath become as a mighty sausage girded in leather.