Today when I went to lunch I parked near the back of Boston Market. While I was walking around to the front of the store I spotted some sort of garment lying crumpled on the ground. I picked it up and it appeared to be some sort of vest. It was red and reminded me of something an organ grinder monkey would wear but much larger. I tried it on and it looked pretty strange, a bit too loud for my taste. I thought it would be good for a laugh if nothing else. It was a little damp from the morning rain but I left it on anyway. I went into Boston Market and ordered my lunch, set it down on the table and went to the bathroom to wash my hands. In the mirror what do I see? Dried fucking condom on the shoulder of my recently aquired vest. I tore the vest off in anger and threw it into the toilet and stomped on the flusher with my foot. The power flusher got jammed and the toilet began to quickly overflow spilling out gallons of water onto the terra cotta floor. For a second I tried to sweep the water toward the drain on the bathroom floor but it was acumulating too fast and just saturated my pants. Not wanting to face any humiliation I burst out the bathroom door, got into my car and left to begin the healing process.