after work, i used the men's room in the mall before i ventured home and the one stall looked like a warzone.

it looked as if someone duked their pants while at the mall and bought new clothes and changed their entire outfit.

this person was also kind enough to leave the shitted in clothes on the floor, as well as all of the tags, hangers and paper from the new clothes. not to mention that the toilet was filled with something even the most skilled special effects artist would never be able to recreate floating around in the bowl.

oddly enough the only thing i could think of after seeing that was mark devito.

L
O
L

I shit my pants in the mall...on the escalator...Tristan laughed at me.

that's why i thought of you.

plus the replacement clothing was from express and you have intercourse with men.

lol. One of my kindergarten students definitely had an accident the other day. The little boy sitting next to her calmly raised his hand after they started painting and said, "Ms. G., I think heaven pooped herself because it definitely smells like it. Can you tell her to check herself?"

"heaven" lol

I had a pretty severe wet fart in an antique store in Portland in September, this was about 40 minutes after eating a terrible breakfast in an absolutely revolting diner nearby. Thank god there was a washroom in that antique store.

probably was brickhouse

a few weeks ago, i made rina stop at a wawa so i could release the butt kraken and they were out of toilet paper.

god smote me that night.

ive had serious close calls before, maybe a little skid mark, but have never full on shit my pants

Originally posted by: DennisQ

ive had serious close calls before, maybe a little skid mark, but have never full on shit my pants

This wet fart I had initially felt like I was releasing pretty standard issue flatulence, but out of nowhere some of that sort of gooey, stomach vile type of shit came out instead of gas, even though there was no sign of this brewing earlier in the day. Which leads me to believe that disgusting breakfast shot through me like a cannonball.

just another day in the life

Originally posted by: DennisQ

ive had serious close calls before, maybe a little skid mark, but have never full on shit my pants

LIAR

I pissed my pants from laughing too hard once, another time when I was being tickled but that one wasn't in public. One time a friend and I were splitting a taxi with some chick who shit her gear all over the backseat, she started trying to catch it in her handbag. The driver was like "FUCKIN WHAT" and screeched to a halt were we jumped out and left the panty shitter with a full fare. In the fray we didn't realise we got out in possibly the worst part of town where we got mugged for our cigarettes.

This is a legitimate excuse for going home at my place of business. My question - why or what would make you so determined to go home that you actually accept responsibility for shitting your butt? I feel like I would take the humiliation of a premature ejaculation or anything besides pants shiterring.

This easily could have happened to me yesterday. I praise allah it didn't.
Insert video of chick shitting herself in hot tub or the fat black chick shitting herself on flavor of love.

Edit lol failed snipe