forum Love, Sex, and Romance ›› Drinking and dating. ›› new reply Post Reply
Metal til Im sixty

listen to neurosis
10,733 Posts
33/M/VA

offline   (10)
February 21 2011 5:40 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
Re: asking women out.

So, I post this question mainly to women, as it's starting to become rather ridiculous. I've become a little less reticent in asking women out over the past year but the increase in tries has not also shown an increase in successes. Mostly I contribute this to women just not wanting to date me in general, but a certain trend has arisen that is particularly frustrating.

So, if I do manage to get a girl to at least entertain the idea of hanging out with me, somehow between the initial "sure" and determining what to do they will back out. It's only happened after they've recommended going out for drinks as what they would like to do. Now, let it be said that I have literally no issues going out to a bar or something like that and hanging out with a girl. These are never my number one choices, but I understand why the girls decided to and I've never nixed the idea. The problem lies in the fact that I don't drink, and if they don't find out beforehand they'll find out at the bar. I imagine that drinking in front of someone who doesn't drink in a one on one situation (especially if you don't know the person very well) might be a little disconcerting. Perhaps they feel like I'm judging them even though that's not the case. Needless to say, if they find out beforehand they back out even if I provide an alternative date, and if they find out at the bar they find reasons to leave early.

If this had not happened to me 8 times in the past year or so I would dismiss it as coincidence, but it just keeps happening and it makes me wonder why it's difficult for these women to get passed or understand.

My most recent girlfriend drank on occasion and smoked weed around me constantly even though I didn't smoke and it never really seemed to bother her. Is she the weird one or have I just had the most unlucky streak of choices ever?

So, long story short, are you less likely to date a guy who doesn't drink/smoke if you do or does it make you at all apprehensive when deciding whether or not to?
Dave B.
.
12,352 Posts
6/M/PA


offline 
February 21 2011 5:43 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
start drinking, problem solved.
WREN
Pulp Free
52,194 Posts
36/M/PA


offline   (20)
February 21 2011 5:45 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
For me if the girl has an issue with me not drinking, well she's out. I'm never going to start so if it bothers you enough to make you weird, you're not worth my time.

That being said, any girl I've ever dated never gave a shit. Especially after I got my license. I'm forever a DD. My wife loves that.
Metal til Im sixty
listen to neurosis
10,733 Posts
33/M/VA


offline   (10)
February 21 2011 5:45 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
saw that one coming.

Originally posted by: WREN

For me if the girl has an issue with me not drinking, well she's out. I'm never going to start so if it bothers you enough to make you weird, you're not worth my time.

That being said, any girl I've ever dated never gave a shit. Especially after I got my license. I'm forever a DD. My wife loves that.



I see your point, and I agree. I'm just more concerned that this has been an issue for most of the girls I've asked out recently and I'm trying to figure out why that's the case.
AtWarWithAmeliaLOL
Time Husk
16,678 Posts
31/M/NA


offline  mobile reply   (1)
February 21 2011 5:46 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
In theory, dating a dude who doesn't drink at all doesn't sound like a bad idea, but it would never work for me. He would have to have an iron will to put up with me when I am drunk. Drinking with your dude is a lot of fun too, I would probably miss that.
GoodTimesGone
cubic time cube
51,395 Posts
43/F/ND


offline   (57)
February 21 2011 5:48 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
Start asking out different girls. If eight or more girls all want to date at a bar and have an issue with you not drinking it seems to me that you're going after a type with whom you're destined to remain incompatible.
Metal til Im sixty
listen to neurosis
10,733 Posts
33/M/VA


offline   (10)
February 21 2011 5:51 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
that's most certainly crossed my mind, but I try to vary the kind of women that I'm asking out and think I've done a decent job at that. Mind you, this doesn't happen one hundred percent of the time, but it's happened enough for me to see it as a larger issue branching beyond just me.
J LANSDALE
is wesleygibson
17,661 Posts
67/M/PA


offline   (10)
February 21 2011 5:51 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
Originally posted by: AtWarWithAmeliaLOL

In theory, dating a dude who doesn't drink at all doesn't sound like a bad idea, but it would never work for me. He would have to have an iron will to put up with me when I am drunk. Drinking with your dude is a lot of fun too, I would probably miss that.






lets get drunk together and i can measure the size of your vagina with my penjus
Dan Conner
Life Isn't Posi
2,998 Posts
31/M/CA


offline   (4)
February 21 2011 6:29 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
Ask out girls who don't drink. Problem solved.
DeadlyHandSammich
creepin on you
3,302 Posts
36/M/NA


offline   (3)
February 21 2011 6:42 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
Originally posted by: Dan Conner

Ask out girls who don't drink. Problem solved.



You get your logic and common sense out of this thread immediately.
kendraaa
eat shit.
3,794 Posts
33/F/IL


offline   (4)
February 21 2011 7:02 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
I used to not drink and dated dudes who did. it wasn't a problem until I was treated like a personal bar taxi cab. that got boring, but I also realized it was a lot safer than them driving. I also used to date dudes who didn't drink, and I did. they couldn't handle that too well. a lot of trust issues. but I was also pretty damn young when all that happened, so it was probably a lot of immaturity issues as well. I don't know why I'm telling you any of this. do whatever the hell you want.
InTheButtLikeWhat
get low
12,901 Posts
35/F/CA


offline   (6)
February 21 2011 7:24 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
why don't you drink? just curious.
Davey.
Baby Cole
43,538 Posts
32/M/NA


offline   (13)
February 21 2011 7:27 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
if i was in a bar with a girl who didnt drink i would still drink.
J LANSDALE
is wesleygibson
17,661 Posts
67/M/PA


offline   (10)
February 21 2011 7:32 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
Originally posted by: Davey.

if i was in a bar with a girl who had a cock i would still fuck her.

Brian FELLOW
Oscillate Wildly
3,920 Posts
31/M/MA


offline   (5)
February 21 2011 7:33 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
i thought this thread was gonna be about going on first dates, getting hammered because you're nervous, and then making a fool out of yourself.
J LANSDALE
is wesleygibson
17,661 Posts
67/M/PA


offline   (10)
February 21 2011 7:35 PM   QuickQuote Quote  
Originally posted by: Brian FELLOW

i thought this thread was gonna be about going on first dates, getting hammered because you're nervous, and then making a fool out of yourself.






lol that just happened to me. but it was our fourth date and now she wont talk to me. woops!!!
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