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Church Of Misery - And Then There Was None

Copstabber Dave   (15 reviews)

Posted: 02/23/2016 | Comments: 0 | Rate:

Some friends of mine were on tour with Church of Misery last time they came around my town and I didn't make it out to the show for one bullshit reason or was probably a financial decision...but whatever caused my absence from the event made it so that I had to listen to 53 of my asshole friends tell me how good Church of Misery was. I never really gave this band a real chance, I kinda felt like "whatever...urrybody already likes these motherfuckers so I'ma just chill over here and listen to the stony jammy bands that I already like. Truth told I prefer my doomy metal a little more on the brutal side like a lot of the A389 bands (Pharaoh, SSOS) and my first impression of this album was a very honest "this isn't what I want to listen to right now" and I honestly still feel like that a bit now that I am on my 10th listen or so. The problem is I can't really find anything to not like about this album. It is fucking heavy grooving rock oriented old school doomy metal shit. I like every single one of those things individually and together. So I am dying for this album to click with me...I actually sat on this review and tried to give it room to breathe and grow on me...and I find myself here today right now. Rocking it again. Thinking that it's awesome. But feeling like I just want to listen to something else. I'm going to take this thing with me on my lunch break and I am going to come back with fucking something...I'ma get my ass to the bottom of this...

OK. I'm back. The first thing I realized is this is an album I'm going to enjoy a lot more when I'm all weed high. I'm willing to bet that 89% of the problem I have connecting with this album is that I have been listening to it primarily while at work of in the car too and from work. My soberest times of the day....and also the grumpiest parts. I have also come to the decision that the remaining 11 percent that is causing me to be unenthused about "And Then There Were None" is that I think the singer sounds like he is a voice of a cartoon tough guy like Yosemite Sam if he were in an episode where he was singing and throwing up at the same time. That's exactly it....he is the Dry Heave Yosemite Sam. And now I think may have just ruined the record for me because all I can do now is imagine some real life haggard looking motherfucker on stage singing and sticking his finger down his throat every time he takes a break from singheaving. Big dumb red mustache lookin ass sing-heaving motherfucker. In rereading those last couple sentences it sounds like I think he isn't a good vocalist and I actually think he's pretty cool...I'd just rather listen to something else. He's probably a C+ to B- vocalist and a C lyricist, which is better than most of the bullshit I wind up checking out to review...So I say if you like classic rock style leads and solos on top of a real heavy low end and great sounding drums backing up a slightly above average vomiting southerner on vocals then this is the album for you. Buy some weed though. Also give me some of that shit, yo.

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