So my friend and I where talking about 60 replies, 7482 views

uthoughtuknewme
8/6/2008 10:40:00 AM
physical and emotional cheating...and if emotional cheating counts/if its a "real thing"?

also which one is worse?

WREN
8/6/2008 10:42:00 AM
they both suck but honestly i'd have to say that physical cheating is worse. I wouldn't really want Dianna to do either but i think i could handle it better if never got as far as physical.
Davey.
8/6/2008 10:46:00 AM
i've heard women say before after theyve found out their partner has been cheating "thinking about him having sex with another woman doesn't bother me nearly as much as the thought of him laughing and having a good time with her."

they're both fucking horrible, but i'd have to say it would be knowing a girlfriend was having sex with someone else that would make me feel sick and upset more.
uthoughtuknewme
8/6/2008 10:49:00 AM
also, what counts as emotional cheating...like what goes beyond the line of friends. what things would you think are red flags.

because i was saying to her its hard to tell. there's really such a thin line.
sherman
8/6/2008 10:49:00 AM
Oh man, this is a tough one for me. I think emotional cheating is farrrr worse. Most guys I know have the ability to completely cut their emotions out of a physical experience. But emotional cheating takes time and work.
uthoughtuknewme
8/6/2008 10:51:00 AM
Originally posted by:aim

both count and hurt equally as much.

especially when the person who is supposed to be finding emotional comfort in you is finding it in someone else, whether its physical or not.

this is how i feel....also i told her emotional connection is what starts things...and then before you know it the door to cheat physically is WIDE open.

personally if my sig. other can't come to me w whats going on in his life or how hes feeling..even simple things like what went on at work or where he went when he was out w the guys, shit like that...then i'd be worried if he was confiding in someone else.

Mariano Rivera
8/6/2008 10:51:00 AM
cheat and get beat

cheating of any kind should be punishable by firing squad
Max Schreck
8/6/2008 10:57:00 AM
oh christ, you're a bunch of whiney assholes. so a s/o can't have close friends? what about friends they've known longer than you? if you're so self absorbed and stupid that you can't handle them having close friendships with other people, that's your problem, not theirs. there is no such thing as "emotional cheating". that's a term some female pop psychologist probably made up to justify her own unevolved, self absorbed, whiney book. what a bunch of fucking malarky. lo fucking l.
XWHISKEYX
8/6/2008 11:03:00 AM
Im a little torn on this, in one sense I kind of agree with obese bellydancer but then can see how someone can get a bit infatuated with someone of the opposite sex and then things escalate from there. Its really hard to define what exactly emotional cheating means and how to tell the difference between that and a close friendship.
sherman
8/6/2008 11:03:00 AM
Originally posted by:Obese Bellydancer

oh christ, you're a bunch of whiney assholes. so a s/o can't have close friends? what about friends they've known longer than you? if you're so self absorbed and stupid that you can't handle them having close friendships with other people, that's your problem, not theirs. there is no such thing as "emotional cheating". that's a term some female pop psychologist probably made up to justify her own unevolved, self absorbed, whiney book. what a bunch of fucking malarky. lo fucking l.

I think what you're saying is a crock of shit. Of course your SO can have close friends but when they cross the line into having intimate conversations it's really not just a friendship anymore.
WREN
8/6/2008 11:05:00 AM
i don't think emotional cheating is referring to close friends. I have plenty of female friends and dianna is completely aware of them. I don't go to them and talk romantically with or even playfully flirt with them. If you took 3 seconds to think about it you might have been able to easily see the difference between being friends or cheating emotionally.
uthoughtuknewme
8/6/2008 11:07:00 AM
there where 2 things that my friend is concerned about:

1) a girl who is married and has a baby who she feels her s/o confides in, has more to talk about, things he makes a big deal not telling her about he will discuss in front of her with this girl....also, they are new friends he's been dating my friend a few months longer

2) 2 messages in said internet that where to random strangers being slightly overly friendly

i said it sounds like hes in need of some girl to fill his emotional needs then. if hes looking to chatting w random girls and someone who i would consider "safe"

agreed? or no? you think she's just being jealous?
XWHISKEYX
8/6/2008 11:08:00 AM
so then, if you suspect your SO of emotionally cheating how do you confront it? How can you tell that they are having inappropriate conversations. etc? What would you think/say if they said they were just good friends?
Broken Skull
8/6/2008 11:09:00 AM

Both pyshical an emotional intimacy are things that should be fullfilled in a relationsship. If one of the partners is getting it from someone else and hiding it, it is obviously wrong.

The best solution, stop giving a fuck about your partner.
sherman
8/6/2008 11:10:00 AM
I don't think she's just jealous. I have been in her situation and have had many girlfriends who have gone through it. If her guy is leaning on another girl for emotional support that means he's more comfortable with her and has more willingness to do and say things that he wouldn't normally do. That is not a good mix and may lead to a physical relationship.
XWHISKEYX
8/6/2008 11:10:00 AM
Originally posted by: uthoughtuknewme

there where 2 things that my friend is concerned about:

1) a girl who is married and has a baby who she feels her s/o confides in, has more to talk about, things he makes a big deal not telling her about he will discuss in front of her with this girl....also, they are new friends he's been dating my friend a few months longer

2) 2 messages in said internet that where to random strangers being slightly overly friendly

i said it sounds like hes in need of some girl to fill his emotional needs then. if hes looking to chatting w random girls and someone who i would consider "safe"

agreed? or no? you think she's just being jealous?

it could go either way, there could be something there or she could be reading into it too much.
Max Schreck
8/6/2008 11:14:00 AM
Originally posted by:sherman

Originally posted by:Obese Bellydancer

oh christ, you're a bunch of whiney assholes. so a s/o can't have close friends? what about friends they've known longer than you? if you're so self absorbed and stupid that you can't handle them having close friendships with other people, that's your problem, not theirs. there is no such thing as "emotional cheating". that's a term some female pop psychologist probably made up to justify her own unevolved, self absorbed, whiney book. what a bunch of fucking malarky. lo fucking l.

I think what you're saying is a crock of shit. Of course your SO can have close friends but when they cross the line into having intimate conversations it's really not just a friendship anymore.


no, what you're saying is a crock of shit. having "intimate conversations" is not cheating unless you're talking about two hours of phone sex or stuff like "i'd really love to shove my cock inside you and cum all over your tits."

otherwise, just because you can only talk meaningfully with a s/o you've made into a substitute father/mommy parent figure in your life, that doesn't mean everyone else should be just as emotionally and intellectually crippled. this idea that everything you talk about has to get approval from your s/o is just a bit too totalitarian for me.
Broken Skull
8/6/2008 11:17:00 AM
Originally posted by:Obese Bellydancer

oh christ, you're a bunch of whiney assholes. so a s/o can't have close friends? what about friends they've known longer than you? if you're so self absorbed and stupid that you can't handle them having close friendships with other people, that's your problem, not theirs. there is no such thing as "emotional cheating". that's a term some female pop psychologist probably made up to justify her own unevolved, self absorbed, whiney book. what a bunch of fucking malarky. lo fucking l.

The point that you are completely missing is the hiding of it all.

If my S/O has a male friend that she talks to about things and I am ok with it because I know about it, its not a big deal.

But if she has lunch with some guy once a week without telling me about it, where she talks about things that she be talking to me about and she calls him secretly and emails him secretly about these things it is an issue.
tom.
8/6/2008 11:17:00 AM
...the fuck is emotional cheating?
Broken Skull
8/6/2008 11:18:00 AM
Originally posted by:sherman

I don't think she's just jealous. I have been in her situation and have had many girlfriends who have gone through it. If her guy is leaning on another girl for emotional support that means he's more comfortable with her and has more willingness to do and say things that he wouldn't normally do. That is not a good mix and may lead to a physical relationship.

"About half of such emotional involvements do eventually turn into full-blown affairs, sex and all."
Source: MSNBC
sherman
8/6/2008 11:20:00 AM
Originally posted by:Obese Bellydancer
no, what you're saying is a crock of shit. having "intimate conversations" is not cheating unless you're talking about two hours of phone sex or stuff like "i'd really love to shove my cock inside you and cum all over your tits."


Well, we're gonna have to agree to disagree on this part.

otherwise, just because you can only talk meaningfully with a s/o you've made into a substitute father/mommy parent figure in your life, that doesn't mean everyone else should be just as emotionally and intellectually crippled. this idea that everything you talk about has to get approval from your s/o is just a bit too totalitarian for me.


Really, you're really gonna say this without knowing a single thing about me? Just because I think there is such a thing as emotional cheating certainly does not mean I can't have meaningful conversations with other people. I, however, know where the the line is and how far I can take it.
Broken Skull
8/6/2008 11:20:00 AM
Originally posted by:tom.

...the fuck is emotional cheating?

Its when your girlfriend calls me telling me about her hopes and dreams, telling me much she really likes me and how she wishes we could run away together and be on a deserted island together.

Like she did this morning, and has every morning for the last three weeks.

Didn't really happen, but that would be it.
Max Schreck
8/6/2008 11:20:00 AM
Originally posted by:WREN

i don't think emotional cheating is referring to close friends. I have plenty of female friends and dianna is completely aware of them. I don't go to them and talk romantically with or even playfully flirt with them. If you took 3 seconds to think about it you might have been able to easily see the difference between being friends or cheating emotionally.


sorry buddy, but i take more than 3 seconds to think about pretty much everything. i don't think you took the time to think about it and what people are really talking about here. it's not just flirting and romantic stuff they feel threatened by. i knew one guy whose piece-of-shit girlfriend left him because he was distracted from her while his mother was in a coma for two weeks. maybe you just can't fathom the kind of tyrannical selfishness you're enabling by chiming along with this one, but then again, who cares. that's hilarious too.
tom.
8/6/2008 11:22:00 AM
Originally posted by: Broken Skull

Originally posted by:tom.

...the fuck is emotional cheating?

Its when your girlfriend calls me telling me about her hopes and dreams, telling me much she really likes me and how she wishes we could run away together and be on a deserted island together.

Like she did this morning, and has every morning for the last three weeks.

Didn't really happen, but that would be it.

people like that really exist? i thought that was only in movies... hmp
Broken Skull
8/6/2008 11:23:00 AM
Originally posted by:tom.

Originally posted by: Broken Skull

Originally posted by:tom.

...the fuck is emotional cheating?

Its when your girlfriend calls me telling me about her hopes and dreams, telling me much she really likes me and how she wishes we could run away together and be on a deserted island together.

Like she did this morning, and has every morning for the last three weeks.

Didn't really happen, but that would be it.

people like that really exist? i thought that was only in movies... hmp


Shit happens all the time.
hanszimmer
8/6/2008 11:24:00 AM
emotional is 100% worse. physical is extremely shitty. especially if it's premeditated and done more than once. i still don't find it as significant as your spouse falling in love with someone else. sometimes shit happens and i would find it much easier to forgive her if she had a one night stand than telling me she's fallen for some other asshole. i think i'd kill someone if it was emotional cheating. if it was a one time thing, i'd probably get pretty sick and wouldn't talk to her for a few days. eventually i'd chill out and mend things because we're all human. i don't know, i'm sure i have completely different perception than most people.