Look, I'm not going to lie here. I'm as guilty as anyone when it comes to occasionally encouraging throwback and ripoff bands. But with this record I think I'm just ready to say it has to stop. Stop. stop it. WRITE YOUR OWN FUCKING MUSIC.

I mean, seriously, it's one thing to do a project that momentarily fills a niche market. One of my favorite examples of that is Witchcraft, whose incredible lo-fi debut album was sufficient enough as a smile inducing nod to Pentagram's old days of recording in a warehouse on a 4 track. But even in their case, by their second record they wised the hell up and brought in real production, started expanding and innovating a little more, and now actually sound like a real band.

Attic I cannot find any excuse for. There is not a general feel or genre they are going for. What they are doing is BLATANTLY deciding "ok, that sound that Mercyful Fate basically patented 30 years ago and has become world famous for? yeah, that's ours now too, suck it, aren't we cool?". No, you're not. "Join The Coven"? Might as well nick a song title while we're at it.

I don't even find any of the songs that memorable or varied. Even Fate and many of King Diamond's solo records had a staggering array of riffs that would change at any moment, each grabbing your attention for a brief moment, and then morphing into another headbanger. I literally cannot think of anything I took away from this record. At all. A collection of lackadaisical guitar work and falsetto singing. Tiresome songs that go nowhere and show little care for anything other than sounding like someone else.

Flame me, troll me, get heated bro. Flood the comment section about how it's just a pisstake, or how I didn't listen in depth enough to appreciate the subtle nuances or how I don't know how to review records or listen to them properly. In the end, Attic shamelessly ripped off a one-of-a-kind style and is making money off of it when they shouldn't, end of story.