Snow White's Poison Bite - Featuring Dr. Gruesome and The Gruesome Gory Horror Show
This record started off with potential, especially given that it's a Victory release, and everyone knows the kind of dipshitty shit bullshit they've recently been responsible for. It really did, and I mean that, and nobody who doesn't suck will believe me, but it did. The first track is an almost 5 minute intro which encompasses a handful of elements from old horror party records, segueing into a really cool, heavy riff, only slightly ruined by fake witch cackling over it. After a quiet moment, the tempo and mood shifts completely to a 50's era surf/rockabilly riff reminiscent of the "Monster Mash". "Damn", I thought to myself, "this is actually kind of neat, a band who understands subtlety and might bring some neat aspects to what I assumed would be just another shitty faux emocore record."
And then the entire thing took a practically literal steaming shit on my face, and it melted into my ears. This is everything I was afraid of when I accepted this review, and more. Let's be straight here....this is a band of people who I assume are no longer in high school, actually using the term "haters" in earnest to address the detractors, myself likely included, who would dare to question the band and their silly faux goth cum faux 80's metal appearance and lifestyle. It's literally impossible for me to take anyone seriously who addresses their alleged "enemies" the same way my white trash, meth smoking Tweety Bird shirt wearing neighbor does. This unoriginal, canned attitude bothered me as a goth/metalhead in high school, and 15 years later, it's like nails on a chalkboard for me.
AAAAAAAAAnyway, ok, the music. Well, again, let's be real, there's not a hell of a lot to write home about, though I will indeed give this horribly named band credit in that the music isn't completely derivative. If you can imagine Avenged Sevenfold mixed with early Manson and Mr. Bungle, you'd have a general idea of this record. Top it off with lyrics that make the Misfits sound like TS Eliot. Speaking of which, I should also mention that Michale Graves guests on a (terrible) track. Don't everyone get all excited at once now.....
It's corny and dumb, but at least is kind of interesting at times. There's elements of goth, metalcore, circus music, symphonic black metal, emo, pop punk....you can't really fault them for attempting to sound unique. But in the end, it still sucks.
I guess I can be added to the list of haters here, and I'm sure I will be dismissed as an old square or some shit, and possibly flamed by 12 year olds, but none of that will lose me more than a second or two of sleep. Do your worst. Fuck you.
Genre: Emo / Groove/Thrash
Label: Victory Records
Site: Related Link
Similar: Marilyn Manson, and several pretend edgy faux goth bands who can suck my dick
- Grusomely Introducing: Doctor Gruesome and The Gruesome Gory Horror Show
- The Gruesome Gory Horror Show
- There's A New Creep On The Block
- Will You Meet Me In The Graveyard?
- Halloween Means Death
- Count Dracula Kid!
- Dr. Gruesome
- Zombie Romance
- Lurking Inside Of You
- The Show Must Gruesomely End
One of my favorite lines of all time. Jesus fuck, this record sounds awful.
"Similar: Marilyn Manson, and several pretend edgy faux goth bands who can suck my dick"