A long time ago in the American suburbs, faint mustached teens with half-shirts drove beat-up Camaros and played Pac-Man at the arcade with a Marlboro hanging off their collective bottom lip. This breed of rebel never thought there’d be a day when David Lee Roth looked like Don Henley and could never have imagined that the half-shirt would one day be relinquished in favor of a suit, a tie and the quintessential weekend “dad outfit.”

If you’re this guy and your umpteenth spins of Back In Black and 1984 are no longer cutting it, then Snew is what you’re looking for.

Snew is essentially a byproduct of 80s rock nostalgia, the inevitable manifestation of hair metal’s exodus from the limelight which brought about a slew of bitching and moaning about rock’s “decline” in the 90s and that eternal question, “What’s wrong with having a good time?” If Adam Curry still had a job, Snew would be in rotation.

This would be okay if not for the fact that Snew unleashes just about every rock n’ roll cliché you can think of, beginning with the false promise of rock rebellion in the form of the album’s title, We Do What We Want. Hearing them “do what they want,” is tantamount to experiencing the good time Poison couldn’t resist. Songs like “Feedback and Distortion” and “Get Loud” merely dress up the youth gone wild with staid acceptability, while songs like “Knock It Out of the Park” (Complete with stadium applause… awesome) and “Pick Up the Ball” carry this air of pep rally that’s laughable.

Sure everyone wants to rollick in high volume and play baseball. Who doesn’t? But, inasmuch as you can respect Snew for trying to revive a trend that, let’s face it, doesn’t NEED to resurface, you can also justifiably lambaste them for being so derivative: Most of these songs were written twenty-five or thirty years ago by AC/DC, Van Halen, Damn Yankees-era Nuge and even Motely Crüe to some extent. It’s not a question as to whether or not Snew has the chops to pull this off, but there is a question as to how much of can be called original. I mean bands borrow all the time, but… what the fuck?

I guess Snew really does do what they want, even if that involves ripping off their source material. May as well just give Back In Black and 1984 a couple more spins. They're better albums anyway.